This dress was meant to end up on your floor
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
