Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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