We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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