i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
