they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
