You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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