My first STD was from a foam party
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
