Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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