We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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