Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
