Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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