The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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