Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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