Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
