You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
