she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
