i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
