oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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