I hate all girls vehemently.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
