I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
