i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
