My hand turned me down
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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