so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
