Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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