We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
