Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
