so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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