I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
