I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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