I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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