i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
