Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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