I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
