the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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