Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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