do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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