If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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