actually, I'm a sock model
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dignity is for republicans.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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