I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
