One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
