not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
