so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
