I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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