I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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