Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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