so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
