i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
