As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
