32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize