I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
