So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
They took my balls.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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