it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize