Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
