Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
