Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
