forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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