Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
