Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
