Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
3pm strippers are depressing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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