Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
