Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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