I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
