Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize