he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize