dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize