I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
