dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
