You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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