that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
