did you get engaged???
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize