HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
