Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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