i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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