Princesses don't give blow jobs
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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