is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
