420 ftw
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
