it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
