sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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