i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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