that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
