i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
