Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize