Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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