My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
