I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
