I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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