you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
