you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
